From the Helm – Tuesday, September 15, 2009

4:45 AM - The trips for December and January seem to finally be coming together.  There is still a need for people to lay the water system in Inaja as well as a doctor and several Bible teachers.  I trust God will touch the hearts of those He desires to fill these gaps.  I’ve express the desire in my heart to go.  The touching of hearts to join me is entirely up to Him.

- Over the past couple weeks, God has dealt gently and subtly with my heart and mind. 

I’ve sought His presence more determinedly due to the acute awareness that I’d been seeking my own solutions to situations, with remarkable ease. This ease of self-justification based on “intuitive thought” is best left to those with better thought processes than mine – of this I am certain…

At times, I tend to get comfortable with the fact that I’m just where I need to be in my relationship to You, Lord.  I get comfortable knowing I am but following Your lead.  Ironically, this comfort often leads me to seek You less.  This, in turn, leads to less conscious dependence, which leads to subtle anxieties.  Anxiety leads to unguided thought, which in turn, leads to erratic action.  When left unchecked, this scenario invariably produces a less than desirable result.

I’ve come to believe that knowledge of God’s will for our lives is paramount to peace of mind and usefulness to Him. Last week I was blessed to take part of a number of discussions on the subject. The result for me was beautiful indeed.

In reflecting on such matters, I must reduce the equation to its simplest form.  God’s granted me just enough thinking capacity to recognize the basics and just enough sense to realize when I’m complicating the simplicity of these basics.

The common thread of the conversations was the age-old question of “How do I know God’s will for my life?”  For me, the answer to this question is simple:  I’ll not see clearly His will in any situation as long as I retain my own will in the equation.  The answer to removing my will is conscious, continuous surrender.  I must change the way I see the challenges placed before me.  I must trust He will show me what I need to see and reveal the appropriate response (or, more often, lack of response) I should have.

For many years, I was under the impression that God’s revelation of Himself to me should be of the “lightning bolt” variety.  I would have to know it all, right then and there, if it were to be valid.  He would have to show me the future in order for me to trust Him with the present.  What He showed me had to at least come close to what I’d determine to be good for me or otherwise had in mind for myself.  I’d placed Him within the parameters of human thought and action – a place destined to keep me right where I was – Saved in the eternal sense. Lost in the living of life…

For many years I struggled needlessly with the idea of seeking God’s will. “Needlessly” because I really didn’t want to know His will at all.  I simply desired to justify my own actions and hope those actions would at least remotely look and sound good to those around me.  Fear, pride and ego kept me from the comfort and grace that seeking and obeying His will always produces.  For someone like me, surrender was not an option.  I’m grateful the day finally came when surrender became my only option.

So, surrender to Him is the answer to all questions of seeking His will for my life.  I’m grateful He shows me only what lies directly before me.  I’m grateful He only requires action regarding the things He reveals and in the manner and to the measure He reveals.  To know His will for me, I need but be rid of my own.  Thank You, Lord, for Your consideration of me.  Thank You for the simplicity of what you require of me.  Thank You, Lord, indeed…