From the Helm – Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Been home a week, today. Still in the process of seeing where the dust has settled. It’s been a slow process.
It seems almost surreal as I’ve walked through these days. There’ve been some changes all around and yet, all remains the same. It’s made me aware of how fortunate I am to have been able to step away to a different place with a different set of circumstances for a while – to know there’s another world beyond my own petty needs and wants.
- I’m grateful God has allowed me what He’s allowed me. Through any difficulties, He’s been faithful to provide peace and contentment. Through all the little thrills along the way, He’s reminded me to be appreciative of such moments. He’s truly what He says He is. Dependant upon my seeking His will for each step I take, He’s the answer to any doubt that may arise along the way. I’m grateful there’s absolutely nothing I must figure out on my own.
- This has been a blessed summer. The trips were phenomenal – the people I was blessed to meet along the way, inspiring. We were able to travel new waters, resulting in new relationships in the Valley – Relationships that have enriched my life and humbled my soul. I’m grateful for it all.
- The Alabama team has cancelled their September departure. Although it’s somewhat disappointing, I know the reasons for my calendar being so cleared will become obvious as the days unfold. When the time comes for us to explore the Araria River, we will do so. For now, I know God has other plans of which I need no immediate clues – just knowledge of today’s deal will suffice…
- The way it looks now, my schedule is rather full over the next weeks. Finances are rather thready. I look to God’s direction along these lines. Many have contributed in beautiful ways; others have found it not possible to participate. I know things are just the way they should be – I’ve done what I’ve felt led to do along these lines. I make myself available to His leading to do anything, anywhere. There are no mountains to climb and no depths to endure – just the walk along the way as He reveals the path.
It’s good to be home. The Boys are enjoying the company of their more delicate counterparts. It’s been fun to see the sparkles in their collective eyes. I know they’re also grateful their mother’s here for awhile. She’ll keep things a bit more livable around this old bachelor’s pad of ours.
Well, this Thursday has dawned. I look forward to the hours as they unfold. I look forward to it all, indeed…
From the Helm – Monday, August 03, 2009 (cont…)
3:00 PM – Well, it’s been an eventful cruise thus far. We left Maues on schedule. My meeting with Edno and Abraao went well. They are set, fueled and cashed up for the September trip.
- The younger girls have been laying out upstairs. All our single crewmen have been unusually attentive to their needs and safety. Such concern for human life…
- I had my nails done for the trip home – feels so very good. The guys back in the USA have no idea what they’re missing by passing up such a treatment. Truly feels good to be pampered on occasion.
- A few minutes ago, Amadeu cut his finger quite badly in the kitchen. Scott is sewing him up in the pharmacy. Looks like a tendon and artery were both severed. God will see them through the deal. I’m grateful I’m not the only one here. This is best left for someone who’s better up for the task. I’m grateful Scott’s here, indeed…
5:00 PM - The Lori just pulled up along side for tow. She’s getting air and vapor locks in her the main engine. It’s time to re-vamp her for further service – aluminum fuel tanks, pre-filter system, etc. She’s a doll. Like any lady, she just needs some long overdue TLC...
From the Helm – Tuesday, August 04, 2009
2:00 PM – We just arrived at the Floating Mall across from Manaus. The group is out shopping till they drop. Then, off on a little jungle tour to cap off the day. They’re all planning to spend the evening at the Mall in Manaus after dinner. I’ll just stay put on the Beatriz.
- We travel tomorrow afternoon for Miami. Just one more night aboard my baby, Beatriz.
- It’s time to go home. It’s been a truly beautiful season. God has blessed beyond measure in every imaginable way. He has been faithful through His providence, grace, mercy and guidance. I know He will continue to reveal to me things I’ve missed along
From the Helm – Monday, August 03, 2009
5:30 AM – The engines of the Beatriz and Lori just fired up. We’re underway toward home. After a quick stop in Maues to drop Tereza off, we’ll set out course for Manaus. ETA is set for around Noon, tomorrow.
I look forward to the journey up-stream. The conversation is always good…
From the Helm will continue as thoughts and events warrant. Otherwise, not…
From the Helm – Sunday, August 02, 2009
5:00 AM – It’s the dawn of our final day on location. Yesterday was a blessing, despite the sullen heat. There wasn’t so much as a breeze and the gnats plagued us in medical. Even a huge family of bats hung above us, quivering as we worked beneath them. I’m grateful for the fans from the Beatriz – helped immensely through our chores. Medical saw many people and dental was steady. I was even able to do an eye on a lady. I’m assuming bat droppings will help in her recovery process…
- Perpetual Socorro is the smallest of the three villages along our way. It is also the most ridged in allegiance to the Catechism of the church. I look forward to seeing that loyalty yield considerably today, as God’s Truth takes the place of man’s dictates. It’s what needs to take place for any kind of joy to prevail. It is necessary to life itself…
1:00 PM – Back aboard for lunch. The morning’s activities went smoothly. Had to set up my drill to split a tooth. Served to make things a little more interesting. Glad you provided it for us, David…
- Construction is building an outhouse in back of the school. Like back home, they tend to wonder off on a bathroom break and not come back. This’ll keep them a bit more visible, for what it’s worth. VBS had another full house. Tey, in medical, spent a good bit of the morning caring for a 19-month-old about the size of a 3-month-old. She is severely atrophied in the arms from lack of muscle tone due to mal-nutrition. Hopefully, with prayer and therapy by the mom, she’ll begin to develop. She is precious. Difficult to look upon the way she is today. I pray the little mother will follow through with the instructions given…
- Our Evangelism teams have been out and about, visiting the nearby villages form years past. I’ve heard of the wonderful reunions that have taken place. This team has reached the point in their ministry where relationships have developed, not just acquaintances. So good to see this happen time and again over several years of returning to a particular region. I’ve seen it with the Satere’s, Mundurucu’s, Lago Preto, Mamuru (just to mention a few) and now, here along the Maues Acu. Trust develops over time. No other way I know of it happening. Persistence and patience…
- The plan for the remainder of the day is to do more of the same until we’ve run out of time. Tonight, we’ve scheduled a closing service for 7 o’clock. I look forward to it, indeed.
Tomorrow, we’ll sail at dawn for Maues and beyond. Our hours together are numbering less and less. It’s been a good journey. All are well. All are grateful to be right where God’s placed them for these days. Sweet spirits all around.
- Spoke with Dad this morning. Seems like all is set for someone to pick me and the family up in Little Rock on Thursday afternoon. Wow, the days, weeks and months have passed so quickly. I guess I can now consider it about time to go to my other home for awhile. See how life’s been happening across the waters during my absence. I imagine it’s made it just fine without me…
From the Helm – Saturday, August 01, 2009
3:30 AM – Got up a bit ago, well rested, feeling grateful for many things in my life. I think sitting and holding the two-year-old girl who almost drowned the other day has a great deal to do with the gratitude in my heart. She’s so affectionate. As I sat, visiting with her father, she was in my lap playing with my watch and beard for more than half and hour. Such a beautiful, innocent creation. So grateful she’s still here for me to hold.
Her father is still struggling with matters of logic and self-sufficiency. It’s sad to see a person in such straits. The team and I continue to pray for his surrender to Christ. Last night, everyone pitched in and raised a thousand dollars to help replace the motor and canoe he lost – It will more than take care of the whole deal. My crew pulled together as well, donating items of their own clothing to the family. All unsolicited acts of kindness that humbled my heart. I’m in good company, indeed…
- Our plan is to work through the morning and depart for Perpetual Socorro over lunch. The service last night touched the lives of two men of Santo Antonio. It’s worth it all to see lives changed – wherever the place may be; whatever the cost. My heart is subdued by the magnitude of God’s workings and grace.
11:40 AM – The morning worked out better than I could have ever planned. As soon as we hit shore, at seven o’clock, Denilson negotiated a new canoe and tail dragger for our little family. At around 10:30, we gifted it to the family along with some “AMOR/Beatriz” life rings, gasoline and lots of clothing. In the midst of it all, I came to find the young man had accepted Christ as his Savior just an hour before. Lord, thank You for answering our prayers. Thank You for giving new life to this young family. Thank You for allowing me to witness it all. You are truly beautiful to me…
- We’re now underway, headed to Perpetual Socorro. I have no idea how long it will take. Still a number of hours left in the day. I’m grateful for few that already past – I look forward to any that may remain…
From the Helm – Friday, July 31, 2009
5:00 AM – The dawn is simply beautiful. The Star of Dalva is bright next to Orion’s Belt. Even amidst the hum of the generator, the peacefulness of the scene is complete. The night yielded good rest and sleep.
At the end of the day, yesterday, we had a brief service of thanksgiving. Jose, the President of Santa Maria, delivered a message of gratitude on behalf of the community. He thanked the team for all they’d done, emphasizing the teaching of the Bible. Without a doubt, the message of God’s grace and salvation has been firmly planted here.
On my way to the Beatriz to board, I met up with Francisco. This is a young man who’s been very involved with all we’ve done in this place. He’s been present and helped with VBS, construction and even the Bible studies. I was impressed by his eagerness to participate. I’d assumed him to be one of the young teachers of the school. To my surprise, he informed me he was the Catechist of the Catholic Church. For a moment, I had no words. This is a young man our team befriended almost instantly. One that seemed the most intrigued with all we’d come to do. He, come to find out, is the very man charged by the Diesis to forbid our access to Santa Maria. The end result – God moved in his heart to not only welcome us but to also help us through it all. God has begun a work only He is capable of starting – a work in Francisco’s heart and mind. I’ll pray for him as often as he comes to mind. My, my, my. What a deal to witness…
9:00 AM – The day is underway. Ray has taken off to Perpetual Socorro to warn them of our arrival tomorrow afternoon. The way the schedule looks now, we’ll spend today and tomorrow (until Noon) here in Santo Antonio. Then, move on to Socorro for the final two days of our time on location. That’s the plan, as plans go here in the Valley. It’ll be interesting to see how it actually unfolds…
1:00 PM – An emotional morning ashore. We had a difficult patient in dental but, that’s just part of the deal. What moved me was the story told me by the young President of the community. During yesterday’s storm, he and his 4 children, the younger two being 4 and 2 years of age, were caught in the middle of the river, in their canoe, when the winds came up. The storms here in the bays of Maues are among the most wicked I’ve seen anywhere. Their canoe capsized, throwing him and the children to the waves. He spent more than an hour at sea holding up his two youngest until he was finally able to reach the shore. No loss of life.
Today, this young man is rattled to the core. He’s confused, grateful, angry and helpless. He’s lost his canoe, provisions and tail-dragger engine. In the midst of it all though, he doesn’t yet realize he’s been given a new chance at life. I’ve asked that God give me time this afternoon to sit and hear his story. If He so ordains, I’ll share the Solution he’s searching for and needs at this time. As for his physical needs, we’ll gladly meet them all from the abundance God’s given us. Lord, make his heart ready to hear of You…
- All teams have had a great morning. Santo Antonio is a smaller community than Santa Maria. One easier to get to know. Those who’ve made it to the clinic or in to mine or Kristina’s chairs have been sweet and friendly. It’s been a joy to serve them. Construction is raising up a structure that will serve as a health outpost. VBS was the usual blessing to all involved. Evangelism visited in homes and held Bible studies. Ray made it back – Socorro is on alert for tomorrow afternoon. It’s been like a whole day wrapped up in a single morning. It’s good to be here, indeed…
5:00 PM – A storm just past. We’re in a safe-harbor as it is. So, all went smoothly. We’ve just finished our work for the day and are about to head up and hold a service. Our team is all well. Everyone has an opportunity too share in the evenings before bed. All are receiving something a little different from their varied experiences ashore. I enjoy listening. It’s good to hear how God is dealing in each life. It’s all good…
- I had an opportunity to speak at length with the young man from the near drowning. He is also the Catechist here in Santo Antonio. There’s some ice that needs to melt in order for him to understand the simplicity of the Christ he proclaims to serve. Hopefully, we’ll have a bit more time together before we part ways, tomorrow afternoon. I believe we will…
Thursday, July 30, 2009 (cont…)
3:40 PM – The morning and early afternoon ended up being full. Medical and dental both worked til all was finished around 3 o’clock. In dental, we managed to thin the line out when a young woman came close to fainting after a prolonged visit to the chair (the things we’ll do to enjoy an early cup of coffee…). Bless her heart, she’s fine. She had just begun her period and an hour in the chair was about an hour too long to begin with.
The children here are well behaved. Cindy made the comment that they know less about Bible stories and choruses than any she visited over the years. We’ve notice the adults are much the same way. There’s a hunger for learning that matches our hunger to share. God has moved powerfully in Santa Maria over the past 48 hours. How sweet to see…
Our construction team has done a wonderful thing today. They’ve built a small house for a young couple having trouble getting on their feet. They’ve been living in a 6X9 room off the back of his parent’s house. Tonight, they’ll be the proud owners of a 10X12 home. I kidded with the kid telling him he’d better get in shape – he’s got a bigger area to have to keep up with his wife in. He beamed me a big smile – she just blushed a bit, cute as can be…
Ray and Eugene’s teams took to the waters this afternoon to visit the villages we worked in last year. I look forward to hearing from them later this evening. I’m certain they’ll have stories to tell. Growth is inevitable when the Holy Spirit moves among a people as He has in the region. Year after year, we see the evidence of His continued presence and workings. God isn’t obligated to reassure us in this way. I’m grateful He chooses to do so, so much of the time. Grateful, indeed…
From the Helm – Thursday, July 30, 2009
3:00 AM - What a great service last evening. The house was full and many others stood within hearing range. Seven adult men came forward accepting Christ as their Savior. What an awesome thing for me to witness. Very moving.
- My instruments arrived about the time we were shutting things down for the day. There is very little anesthetic among our supplies. I forgot to restock. I guess we’ll have just enough to work til it’s all gone. Should be enough to get through the trip.
Thank You, Lord, for hanging the Milky Way so low and proud this morning. Being the only one up to see it, I assume You hung it just for me. Thank You, indeed…
- I want to also thank You for Your provision. I have asked for Your help through the touching of specific lives to give to Your work here in the Valley. Through them, you are providing – I am humbled before You in gratitude for those few who have already answered the call to give selflessly. I pray your continued peace and provision in their lives and the lives of those who are still considering their response to the request. Protect them, bless and encourage them of Your light and comfort. Bless each one as they seek Your will during the course of this day. May they feel Your presence as they go about the duties laid before them. I dearly love each one, regardless of response…
7:00 AM – This day has begun. I look forward to it all. There will certainly be new marvels to experience as the hours unfold…
From the Helm – Wednesday, July 29, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOM!!!!!!!!!! I Love you, miss you and look forward to seeing you next weekend!
5:00 AM – We cruised to a cove off Santa Maria last night, arriving just after 9 PM. Sleep was good. The weather was accommodating.
While in Maues I was able to visit with both Moises and Edno. Moises’ boat is already pulled ashore with the refitting work in progress. The AMOR/Patrice will be brand new in about a month. Thank You, Lord…
- Edno just wanted to say “hey”. He’s returned on Sunday from Lago Grande where construction has begun on the place of worship in Sao Paulo. He baptized the first two of the 81 new Christians in that region. What an amazingly, beautiful thing! A place I’d never heard of just two months ago. A place I’d no immediate plans of visiting. God closed the doors to the Wai-Wai Nation, sending us to experience His Power and Saving Grace amongst a people that stole my heart from the very first day. Only God could design such a scenario. Only God could bless in such a way. My spirit tingles within me at the remembrance of such kindness on His part…
- Tereza came up and shared with us for a good little bit before departure, yesterday. We are blessed with being able to visit three communities this year who have rejected our presence in the past. The overbearing problem has been the Catholic Diocese in Maues. No matter how we attempt to explain the deal, the Church is adamant that the communities resist our presence. We pray often that God soften the hearts of the leadership to allow us to present His Saving Grace. As usual, He has accommodated. We never come to “convert” from one religion to another. We come to share the Christ all people seek deep within their souls. Nothing more; nothing less…
10:00 AM – All teams were ashore and busy by 8 o’clock. Medical has a steady flow. Construction is putting a new roof on the community generator house. Evangelism is meeting in small group all over the village. Dental is out for the day. It seems that during the rush and excitement of leaving Boas Novas in the Satere Nation last week, my “box” of instruments and supplies was left behind. So, Moises, Seraphim and Artuzinho have taken off to retrieve it. Maybe get to pull a tooth or two this afternoon…
- Santa Maria is a large, clean community. Tereza was sharing with us that the people are grateful we are here but are fearful of retaliation on the part of their church leaders in Maues. Unbeknownst to these precious ones, we’ve come to alleviate all fear through offering a personal relationship with Christ. It’ll be a beautiful deal to watch as many come to know Him as I’ve been so blessed to Know Him.
Noon – At anchor for lunch and a swim. The morning was good. Unusually hot out today. I pray everyone continues to drink liquids. So very important out here.
- Several decisions this morning during the Bible studies and visits to the homes. The people here are very open to receive what is being offered them. There doesn’t seem to be any more interest in medical than there is in the studies. How good to see the hunger for Truth.
God’s Truth truly set this man free. All other avenues gave me wings to fly and then, took away the sky…
3:00 PM – Well, the day continues. All activities in full swing. I got to sit in on some of VBS – what a deal that always is! My tools still haven’t arrived. As a matter of fact, word is, one of the health agents of the tribe sent the box straight to Maues this morning via their medical boat. I guess I’m just supposed to continue taking in all there is to see in Santa Maria. I’m grateful for the extended reprieve…
All are well and in good spirits. A service will be held at the close of the afternoon, around 5 o’clock. I look forward to it all, indeed…
From the Helm – Tuesday, July 28, 2009
3:40 AM – We’ve been granted smooth sailing throughout the night. The stars have been so bright and well defined; our pilots have scarcely used the spots. The Star of Dalva reflecting a path on the water from the horizon to our bow. It took me awhile to finally close my eyes and sleep – so beautiful.
We were finally underway at 7 last night. We chose to wait out the roughness of the Negro – she was unusually irritated til darkness brought her calm. It’s been a while since our teams have departed after sunset. It was a good to see the city lights for a change.
- The Lori is about 100 yards off our starboard side right now. She’s a beautiful vessel, all lit up in the night. Eight of our team members are bunking aboard her, making the Beatriz a little less crowded. It’s good to have the Lori – she adds to our flexibility during trip with multiple destinations like this one.
- Lord, I want to thank You for all that has transpired over these past days. As I lay in my hammock last night, I found it difficult to focus on any one event long enough to express my gratitude for Your presence, provision and grace in my life and work. It was frustrating for a bit. Then I realized there’d occurred such a myriad of things - my mind was just too tired to hold a complete thought. Thank You for simply resting me through the night. I needed it more than I’d thought.
5:40 AM - Just past Itacoatiara off the Port side. The Lori’s tied off to us for as long as the waters permit. For now, it’s real smooth. The sun is rising. A new day has begun…
12:20 PM – Well, we are quite a bit slower than usual with the Lori in tow. Our new ETA is set for more like 4 this afternoon. So, we cruise and cruise…
The team spent the morning sorting through all the bags. After about 3 hours, it was all done. Very organized bunch. It’s been good to sit around and visit with several throughout the morning. A time to catch up on our separate events during the year. These are wonderful people. Ray and Eugene are as sweet as ever. It’s good to have Kristina, Scott and Todd back. Deborah and Audrey are a special treat as well…
4:45 PM – Just pulled away from Maues with Tereza aboard. Have no clue where we’re going yet. Just know we’re headed there as I write. Thank You, Lord, for safe passage. Thank You for all You have in store for us as the days unfold. It’s a privilege to be here in Your care…
From the Helm – Monday, July 27, 2009
5:00 AM - Thank You, Lord Jesus, Thank You… Your Grace and Provision never cease to awe and astound me. Thank You for Your kindness and faithfulness. Thank You for those who have chosen to be touched by Your call to help and serve. I know with all that I am, You will bless these far beyond their scope of imagination…
I slept soundly and fitfully through the night. Thank You for allowing me time to sit with You this early morning. We discussed it all and all is settled in my heart. I love You and am entirely Yours to build and do with as You will. Thank You for the privilege of walking in Your gentle embrace…
- Just a note of explanation of From the Helm… These writings are nothing more, really, than my diary. During trip progression, they deal with trip specifics and observations from location. Between the trips and while I am away from the Valley, they are of a more personal nature. If you do not wish to be encumbered by such non-trip-related thoughts and meanderings, please disregard them unless the “subject” line reflects a specific or urgent matter. Thanks for your consideration, prayers and support of our work in the Valley.
5:00 PM – The team has arrived and we are about to set sail. All are well and as ready as I am to see what the Lord has in store. So good to see all the familiar faces along with the new ones. It’s all good, indeed…
Our ETA and rendezvous with Tereza in Maues is set for 2 PM, tomorrow. My, my, it’s great to be back on the River…
From the Helm – Sunday, July 26, 2009
7:00 PM - Had a good meeting this morning. Also, received word from the Beatriz that she and the Lori are ready to travel. We fueled them both on Friday. All that we know to do has been done.
- The plan for in the morning is to go down and be reassured we are cleared for sailing with the Captain of the Port. We never know till you know. Actually, we never know till they stop us underway and make the decision on the spot, regardless of prior approval… With the new Commander in charge, the rules seem to be changing once again. The “re-categorizing” requirement for the Beatriz leaves many questions in the air. I hope to know the scope of these when I meet with the dispatcher in the morning.
- A touch of “pre-trip” adrenaline is fighting against the calm. It’s normal for me but, seems to intensify as the trip season progresses. It will be good to just get underway. I long for the River when I’m here in the city. Many times, the only good I see in being here is the discipline of being where I’d rather not be – good enough.
- This afternoon, I received an email from a dear friend of mine. Its contents were among the most reassuring and humbling I’ve ever received. It reminded me of who I am and from whence I’ve come. It reminded me that I’ve never done well with an abundance of most anything – complacency and arrogance have always robbed me of any joy that might have come with having more than I need. It reminded me of a few questions I must ask myself from time-to-time: Would I continue to minister here in the Valley if I had to do it alone and unnoticed? Would I continue to seek God’s will if no one were around to see the result of the seeking? Would I continue to trust if I actually received all those things I tend to dream of? Would I continue to share my thoughts even if I knew they might not be well received by some? In other words, would I continue in faith, dependence, gratitude and willingness to serve even in the absence of tangible, supportive results?
I ask myself variations of these questions every day. It’s part of how I begin each day. Meditating before the Lord regarding false-motives, selfish-ambition, lust, pride and the like, is the only way I’m able to survive the daily attraction of such destructive thought processes. In confession of such things, I realize my powerlessness over them – thus, the necessity of God’s protection and guidance through them. Whatever thoughts I leave unaddressed before my God, are those I’m likely to succumb to during the day’s unfolding. These are the things that block me from His presence.
So, on a day my answer to any of the above questions is “no” (and some days it is), it’s a day I’d best remain isolated and alone til the answer changes – of this, I am certain…
- This has been a good day You’ve given me. Thank You for friends. Thank You for family. Thank You for the joys of each…
From the Helm – Saturday, July 25, 2009
3:00 PM - Thank You, Lord, for the good day you’ve given me. You’ve helped me in many ways I’d not expected. You’ve given me peace where there was a shade of unrest. You’ve given me health where it’s been failing a bit. I thank You for your consideration of me…
I was able to work the remainder of yesterday after getting our team off to the airport at Noon. The Boys had traveled South at 2 AM, arriving in Minas about the time Orlando left for home. It was a full day indeed but, most of the purchasing was accomplished and delivered by days’ end – a good feeling to rest on.
After a couple of nights with some breathing and sinus difficulty, last night yielded a full 7 hours, uninterrupted sleep. It sure has made a difference today. Good to be close to normal once again.
- Over the past days, I’ve been in contact with Melanie at our bank regarding payments and receipts. It’s become obvious that with one less trip this year, our finances will be more of a challenge than in years past.
As I lay in bed last night, I simply asked God to show me what I should do first. By morning, He’d made clear two things: First, that I’m not imperative to anything He has going on here in the Valley and that I need but be willing to follow Him anywhere He has for me to serve, whether here in the Valley or in a job of some kind back home. Wherever He leads is just the place I’ll desire to be. Second, He made clear that I should write a letter to a few people I know, expressing our financial need. This too, I did. Then, having done what He’d shown to do along these lines, I went on to the city with the day’s list of business. It will all be just as God desires it to be. Not a bit more or less…
So, here I sit in my room. Thank You Lord for the night’s rest and this day of work You’ve allowed me. It’s been good to spend time with You. I appreciate Your reassurances and calming care for me. I don’t know how I’d make it without Your tenderness and light – then again, without it, I’d not make it at all…
Tomorrow, I have but one morning meeting. I look forward to a day in Your leisure. I look forward to what You may have for me to see and live. It is truly beautiful the way You care for me. Truly beautiful, indeed…
From the Helm – Wednesday, July 22, 2009
4:00 AM – I got up a few hours ago. We’ve been on a slow cruise with Moises’ AMOR/Patrice in tow. There’s been no moon – the stars are magnificent. I’ve been sitting at my table taking it all in.
- These days have been good. Several of our team rotated through a 24 hour bug. But, all bounced back quickly. None have missed much along the way. For the most part, they are an older crowd, the youngest being Josh Nassar and my Boys. There’s been a mellow atmosphere throughout the trip.
I’ve been grateful to have Robert, Candas, Terri, Ronnie, Barbara and Darlene aboard. They allowed me to be detached from dental and medical completely. It’s a privilege to work these facets of the ministry when no one else is available but, it leads to my missing the rest of the deal to some extent. I miss seeing the whole picture…
It will be interesting to hear everyone’s stories in the hours remaining. Some will be eager to share. Others will simply reflect within the confines of the heart and mind. I enjoy observing the whole gamut of responses.
- With the privilege of being free from specific duties came a whole range of opportunities to observe and learn. I’ve had the opportunity to sit and visit with the Tuchauas and Moises. I’ve come to better understand the dynamics of their culture. I’ve been humbled by their need and lack of need. These are a people who live a life specific to meeting their basic instincts – no frivolous extras. The only element lacking for most of them is that of spiritual completion.
All humanity is born with the same basic need and desire for spiritual peace. Regardless of our awareness of the fact, we seek it with every ounce of our being. God made us that way. It’s the way it is.
I sought this peace all my life. Tried every avenue my imagination could generate until all avenues collapsed beneath the weight of their insufficiency. Upon discovering this, all efforts ceased - I’d become teachable.
In my own life, this was the point of discovery and enlightenment. This point of surrender making possible the life I desired. By God’s grace, the peace of mind and soul I robbed of others while attempting to find it for myself was finally irrefutably mine – free and abundant...
This peace only God can author is what I pray for the Satere’s and all others alike. All else merely benefits the flesh in some way or other, keeping the body comfortable while the spirit remains undeniably lost and miserable. Most every day, God leads people my way with physical needs to be met. Through the meeting of these needs, the healing of the soul becomes possible. I’m grateful to God for allowing me even a small part in His workings. To watch a person come to know Him is worth any perceived cost or discomfort. It’s a beautiful thing to behold. It is worth my life itself…
– Departure from Maues is scheduled after dropping off Kazuza and Moises at 8 this morning. We’ll be underway toward Manaus at last…
From the Helm – Tuesday, July 21, 2009
7:00 AM - Our final day on location has begun. The well flushed throughout the night. The drilling resumed earlier this morning. I pray we find water within 80’. We have a number of rods that have become bent and bare-threaded during the course of the summer. Our capability for depth is limited. Just have to drill on and see what happens…
- I went and spent some time with Kazuza at his hut. He’s a gentle and wise man. His only concern is for the leadership that will follow when he is gone. Pride and greed have led his younger brothers and sons to start clans of their own, leaving him to select from outside the family line. With the death of his wife in April, the certainty of his mortality has come to rest heavily on his mind and heart. I reassured him he’s led well throughout his life. God will show him to whom he should pass his leadership when the time comes.
The clans are totally dependant upon their Tuchaua. The absence of his wisdom leads to drifting and chaos. I know God’s direction for Kazuza’s succession will become clear as he seeks such direction. He need not fret, only seek selflessly and follow the clarity that will ensue…
9:30 AM – All teams are in full swing. Bible Study begins in a few minutes. We’ve reached 65’ in the drilling process. Avery fine sand is slowing down progress a bit. We’ve only 3 more rods to either hit good water or stop entirely. Lord, it’d be grand to hit water. However, if our preparation had been better, we’d be able to drill on. Human error, as usual…
3:30 PM – Our teams have just shut down and bagged out to the boat. Our crew and Jimbo have been toiling with the well dig all day long. The bit is bound 70 feet below. They’ll do everything possible to free it and raise the rods. If unsuccessful, it’s just the way things go sometimes. We’re grateful, anyway, for the opportunity to try. There will be another day to dig if God so allows.
5:50 PM – Well, God truly knows how to end a day in beautiful fashion. We just held a baptismal service for a gentleman that was saved last night. As the service began, Matthew came up to me and asked if he too could be baptized. What welled up in me, only a father can comprehend. Pastor Moises, in Satere and Portuguese, baptized my youngest in the heart of the Satere-Maue Nation. Something I will never forget. First came Phillip and William along the Araria River of the Mundurucu Nation. Now, Matthew here in this Nation. A beautiful ending to an already perfect day. Thank You, Lord…
- We’re about to set sail for Manaus. ETA is set for 38 hours from pulling anchor. I look forward to the cruise. It’s a welcomed time to quietly reflect on the days. Much for me to reflect upon, indeed…
From the Helm – Monday, July 20, 2009
4:00 AM – I woke up a bit ago. I walked out of my cabin in to a swirling mist of fog. It slowly danced through the Beatriz, carried by the breeze. It was beautiful to sit and watch. The shapes created would bring envy to the mind of Vincent. “Starry Night” could only hope to capture the sight I beheld…
The service last night was beautiful to me. We met in the Tuchaua’s hut – sitting around much like while in a private meeting with the Chief. Moises spoke from 2 Corinthians – the crowd was attentive, mumbling in agreement. The message was well received. In the end, both the Tuchaua and Capataz gave lengthy discourses in gratitude for our presence and the teaching of the Word.
The people of this Nation are truly hungry for God’s presence in their lives. Although they may not fully realize the nature of their hunger, it’s quite obvious to me. I pray God’s gentle tough of Self-revelation upon the hearts and minds of this people. Our charge is but to present His Word – He’s the only One capable of affecting it. This, He is doing through His Spirit. How grateful I am to be witness to it all…
9:30 AM – All teams ashore and working for more than an hour now. Soon, dental and medical should be finished with all who are waiting. VBS will work with the children until departure time. Construction is putting the finishing touches on a set of stairs for the local nurse’s house. We should be underway to Kazuza’s community within a few hours. I’ve sent William, Phillip and Moises ahead to let them know of our unscheduled visit. I love the “unscheduled”…
1:00 PM – About an hour ago we pulled away from shore, headed to Kazuza’s. At the last moment, Matthew came aboard with a baby Cutia and Paca. I guess we have us a couple of glorified rats as new mascots…
The “sticks” have been easier than expected. Our pilot, Naldo, is handling the Beatriz smoothly, even headed downstream. Only about an hour left before we hit open channel.
- My “secret” plan is to sink a well for Kazuza. I’ve wanted to do so for several years now. I’ve not had all the pieces of the puzzle together before today. If it be God’s will we reach water for him, it will be done. The crew is ready for the effort. I’m excited by the possibilities. We’ll see what happens.
3:15 PM – The team is onshore visiting the huts. VBS is holding an abbreviated session with the children. Our equipment has been set up and the drilling has begun…
From the Helm – Sunday, July 19, 2009
10:00 AM - Awoke early this morning to the sound of splashing and laughter around the Beatriz. The crew was ceremonially throwing each other in to the frigid waters as each got out of their hammocks! It’s become a tradition, of sorts, here in Aldeia Nova. I’m glad there’s still enough respect around to exclude the “bosses” from the ordeal…
- First on the schedule today was to go see how a patient we saw last night was doing this morning. She’s had a sustained, low-grade fever for the past 23 days. Barbara conducted some tests that indicated a bladder infection. The lady was better this morning. We’ll see how the day goes before determining whether or not to send her on to Maues.
- The Tuchaua isn’t here today. However, the Captain has been left in charge and is receptive to all areas off ministry. A Bible Q&A will begin in a few minutes. Construction is erecting an outhouse for the “city” nurse. VBS is in full swing. Medical and dental have had their day pretty much mapped out for them – lots of people…
- I’ve enjoyed the devotionals onboard each morning. Team members have alternated each day. It’s been good to hear the things form each one's heart. The romance of the Valley tends to simplify God’s Truths. For me, it is here I’m able to more easily grow, unencumbered as God chooses to reveal Himself. I’d wish such times upon everyone though I recognize the hurdles required for most to reach my Valley. The good news is: He’s just as gracious and faithful to lead and teach regardless of where we may find ourselves along the way. I humbly recognize the privilege I’ve been granted and am grateful for it - profoundly grateful, indeed.
12:40 PM – At the moment, we’re anchored for lunch. The morning was full. Dental saw 22 patients with that many again, waiting for them on shore. Medical finished with all who were waiting to be seen. VBS was, well, busy…
I was able to take some time to listen in again during the Study. I’ve never heard the steps leading to Christ explained so well. Chris and William did a beautiful job. The Captain asked that we hold services this evening so the rest of the community might here what he heard this morning. I look forward to it very much.
- Since seeing the “barge” back in Manaus, I’ve paid close attention to where we’ve travelled. Close attention to the often difficult passages we must forge along the way. The areas of “sticks” we must pass through here in the Nation are among the worst we’ve encountered anywhere. In talking with the crew and the Boys, we’d have no problem with the barge. As a matter of fact, due to it’s lesser draft and prop cages, we’d actually make better time by cutting across some to the brush instead of having to go around it. Anyway, it’s fun to imagine what it would be like. Our needs are more than met with the Beatriz. Anything other than her would simply be something other than her.
4:00 PM – The rain is pouring down – a much needed reprieve from the heat and humidity. Jim and I took the AMOR/TT up the river a bit to check out a collapse of the embankment that’s blocked the way. The river becomes immediately smaller past our anchor. We’re at the furthermost point the Beatriz is able to navigate. Years ago, we went to the end of this river in our secondary vessels – a community by the name of Nazare. Maybe someday, I’ll be blessed to return there once again.
- Aldeia Nova is a primitive settlement of people with little contact with so mush as the rest of the Satere Nation. They are kind and generous. I sense no malice in their mannerisms or spirit. A people who are not demanding in any way. We are to “love, regardless of response”. These have made it easy to do so…
Services are set for seven this evening. Our team is well, tired, in good spirits. Thank You, Lord, for this day you’ve given me to live. It’s been a pleasure walking through it in Your care…
From the Helm – Saturday, July 18, 2009
9:30 AM - It has been a morning of tremendous blessings. As the team went up to work, I stayed back to visit a bit with those remaining aboard. Lord, thank You for ministering to me in such a beautiful way…
- VBS continues in the blessing of touching and being touch be the children. Dental and medical have embarked on the endless task of seeing all possible in the last hours here in Vila Nova. Our pastors have headed off with William to share with Kazuza and his people. I’m simply grateful to be witness to it all.
Our plans are fluid up to the point of departure at 3 this afternoon. This day God has blessed us to live, is now in full swing. Lord, slow me to take in all You’ve in mind for me to see…
12:20 PM – Over lunch we received an email from 1st Orlando committing to meet some basic needs involving Moises’ vessel and other pressing obligations. I continue to be amazed at how God matches all needs with the resources required. Moises will sit in Maues over the next weeks as funds already in hand join with the new finances to make a marked difference in his ability to minister. I’ve prayed God to provide and He has done so beyond any expectations I dared have. Thank You, my Lord, for Your provision…
- The pastors had a great morning with Kazuza. They studied in the Book of Romans. Much was said and heard. The people there are hungry for what the Word has to say. This hunger for Truth is inherent in all, sought by many and followed by few. It encourages me to see a people such as these seek so openly and honestly. This is tangible evidence of the work of the Spirit. Just an added pleasure for me to experience today. It’s all been quite good, indeed…
5:45 PM – After 2 hours negotiating hairpin curves through the brush and overhang, we’ve just arrived and dropped anchor off Aldeia Nova. The setting is like something out of “Apocalypse Now”. The water is freezing cold. We are near the headwaters of the Marau, headed ashore for the formalities with the Tuchaua…
From the Helm – Friday, July 17, 2009
10:00 AM – Several people were up at 4 this morning when I was having my coffee. The common denominator was it being “too cold to sleep” upstairs. The thermostats were set on 65 instead of 72. After installing some circulating fans, it really does get too cold if we forget to turn the thermostats up higher. Such problems we face...
- The day ended with us at anchor by 7 o’clock last night. The closing service was a time used mostly by the Tuchaua’s and other authorities to express gratitude for the work that was done by the Team. When all the formalities were finished, I walked Everisto back to his house. The good-bye was a tearful one. Each passing year, we both know either of us may be absent the next time around. But, we both have good blood around us, ready and able to carry on if and as God may lead. God’s will and work is never hindered by our physical changes of the guard…
- Underway a six this morning. We were a little late getting underway. Filipino ran another assistant chef off last night. The poor guy wanted off the Beatriz at any cost. Filipino is evidently hard to work for over any length of time. He’s gone through 4 assistants in 6 trips. I stay out of the whole deal. He does a tremendous job of delivering healthy, delicious meals of a continuous basis. He’d just be better off with a staff of drones and robots.
- Arrived in Vila Nova a little over an hour ago. All teams are set up and working. Construction will take these days to help out with VBS. Many children here.
This is the Capitol of the Satere Nation. The Grand Tuchaua is out of town leaving us to deal with the more amicable, Tuchaua Joaquin. This has been a tough stop over the years. It’s where we were first refused entry some 10 years ago. My, how things have changed over time. God has opened wide the doors to this Nation. It has been an incredible ride to watch it all unfold…
1:45 PM – The day has been very hot. We had a few of the team take the afternoon off. The heat is intense.
- I feel a little tired myself today. Nothing a good night’s rest won’t remedy. The Boys have been absolutely fantastic all through the summer. They’ve worked hard and have been good company to me. Although I’ll see them again in early August, I’ll miss them when they leave for Minas next week.
It’s been good to sit and listen in on their hopes and dreams - To see their imaginations run in healthy directions. I’ve often wondered what effect my own wandering nature would have on their lives. In following me all around this Valley, I see a certain courage and boldness in them – an inherent comfort in the face of the unknown. I have no idea what God has in store for them. I do know they will put no limits on the “where’s” and “when’s” of the deal. By God’s grace, they’re becoming extraordinary young men…
4:45 PM – Just returned from visiting my old friend Kazuza over in Nova Esperanca. He’s the former Grand Chief who granted us access prior to being deposed in 1999 by Antonio, who ultimately denied us that initial access. Kazuza’s had a trying year. His wife died back in April leaving him depressed and lonely. Jim and I remember how she was by his side day and night. He misses her profoundly. Tomorrow, William will take our pastors over to have Bible Study among the men of his village. I hope to be there myself if it works out in that way.
- Our team is now coming aboard for dinner before the evening services. I feel rested after the visit with Kazuza. Thank You, Lord, for leading me out this afternoon. You used a visit with an old friend to renew my energies. Thank You, indeed…
From the Helm – Thursday, July 16, 2009
6:00 AM - With the dawn came a breathtaking sunrise. The kind that sets my heat and mind in a place of gratitude and awe. I’m truly grateful to see such things.
Last evening’s service occurred in true Satere fashion. The people who directed it spoke in the familiar, odd mixture of Portuguese and Satere, making it virtually impossible to follow or comprehend. I just did a lot of “nodding and amen’ing”. The final result was an older man coming to know Christ as his Savior – well worth the hour-and-a-half of my brain fog.
Pastor Moises is a good speaker. He relates well with his people. They appreciate his presence. The Tuchaua here has asked that he visit more often, bringing Bible studies to his people. I feel certain this will take place over the coming year. Moises obliges any and all requests for his presence. He wisely goes only where he’s invited to stay. But, when invited, the results are beautiful to see. The evangelical work has grown five-fold in the 5 years since his arrival in the Marau side of the Nation. It’s a privilege for us to be involved with such a man and his family.
1:30 PM – The team is back ashore for the final afternoon in Esperanca. Last night, Tuchaua Everisto was unable to attend the services because of darkness. He is no longer able to get out at night due to his eyesight and physical frailty. We will knock off our activities at 4 o’clock this afternoon and, for his benefit, have a closing service at five.
- The continuation of yesterday’s Bible Study went well this morning. Most of the same men showed up to learn more. This is an interesting idea Jim as brought to us here. The Satere have no “written” Old Testament. So, the OT must be taught much as it was in the old days, via oral tradition. Very effective, indeed.
- Medical and dental continue to be busy, as usual. Construction will hopefully be finished with their shower projects by day’s end. VBS has been every bit as healthy and exited as yesterday! Our folks are beginning to tire and we are only in our second day on location. The pace will assume a more manageable level as the team’s adrenaline wanes and “normal” energy takes its place…
- We plan to anchor after the services this evening and head deeper in to the Nation at first light. As we go deeper, the communities grow more pagan in their beliefs and mannerisms, adding to the intrigue of the venture. The deeper God allows us to travel, the more excited my spirit becomes. Difficult to adequately describe. It’s just all good…
From the Helm – Wednesday, July 15, 2009
5:30 AM – Arrived in Esperanca at seven o’clock last night. Jimbo, Jim, William, Pedro and I went ashore to see what was going on. Moises and his family were waiting for us when we arrived.
Went straight up to Tuchaua Everisto’s place. Even with the high water, the climb to his hut was grueling. I was ready and needing to sit down by the time we got there. He’s doing better this year than last. Although he still has difficulty walking due to the stroke, he seems better accepting of his situation. We all shared in a couple rounds of “sapo” (powdered Guarana, hand-ground into cool water), visited and laughed a bunch. The sapo, of course, was prepared by the oldest, dirtiest pair of female hands available at the moment – seems to be a requirement for this ceremonial drinking deal...
Everisto immediately developed a fixation on Jimbo’s (Chi-Chi-Chi) well developed size. He would be talking along with one of us, then focus on Jim. “My, you sure are much larger than last year…”; “My goodness, you’re a “five-chicken- man” to feed these days…” ; “Give him lots of sapo so he won’t eat all my oatmeal…” and on and on. Jim took it all well. It was great seeing Tuchaua’s sense of humor back to normal.
9:30 AM - All teams onshore and setting up by 8:30 this morning. Construction will build a couple of showers for the community. Medical and dental are being assisted by the FUNASA (Office of Indian Affairs) nurses. VBS is just about to begin the madness with an incredible number of exited children – the day has begun…
5:30 PM – All has gone well. After lunch and swim, many were treated and released from medical and dental. Construction has gotten a good start on the two shower houses they started this morning. I was able to secure all the Guarana around the village along with helping Jimbo with some shopping of his own.
It’s taken me the better part of the day to readjust to the culture of the Satere-Maue. I’ve been away a year now and had forgotten their manner of asking for just about anything and everything – from food to watches to airplanes. So accustomed to having the government meet their needs, they’ve all but lost self-sufficiency in the process. Unfortunately, the government no longer provides as they used to. So, the people here just do without for the most part.
Our teams from Orlando have done a great service to this Nation in bringing fresh water systems to all the major communities. It was good to walk through Esperance with Jim today, watching as people made use of the showers and faucets that were provided a number of years ago. The sweat and toil was well worth while…
- The Jim Chris and Roger, joined by Pedro, Moises and William, are conducting a Bible study with the men this afternoon. This activity is a continuation of the work begun last year by Jim, Silas, Doug and Greg introduced last year. It has proven to be a source of deep conversations and contemplation of the Word. I look forward to seeing even further blessings this trip.
- It’s been good to sit with my friend Tuisa Everisto. Every year I come, he’s of a different age. Last year, he was 56. This year, he’s 88. He doesn’t really know how old he is but it’ll be fun to see what age he’s reached by the next time we meet… He is a man who stuck his neck out for us to be permitted in to this Nation 10 years ago (wow, it’s been that long…). Today, the relationship is a beautiful, transparent one. One of family – not one of occasional visitors. I’m grateful God has allowed me such relationships throughout the Valley. I’m humbled by the privilege. As I was about to leave, his son served me a snack of Sahaia and Cara (salted ants and manioc root). Perfect end to a relaxing visit…
From the Helm – Tuesday, July 14, 2009
12:10 AM – At the moment, we’re tied off to the back, waiting out a storm. The August storms are arriving early.
- The team arrived ahead of schedule. They were already through Immigration and Customs when I arrived at the airport at 1:45 yesterday afternoon. So good to see Jim, Jimbo, Robert and the rest. We headed for the Beatriz, which arrived about 15 minutes after we got to the Tropical port. We departed without incident at 3:40 PM.
- The day just past was among the most interesting I’ve experienced in a very long time. It started out all good and well then, things began to happen very quickly. Maybe a “time line” is appropriate:
4:00 AM – I woke up, had coffee and some quiet time.
7:00 AM – Anderson arrives and we hit the road with our final little list of things to do.
9:00 AM – Pedro calls with the news our gear box has blown a seal or something and must be torn down to fix.
10:30 AM – Our dispatcher calls with the news the Captain of the Port has refused us permission to travel.
10:31 AM – I email Jed Thompson in Dallas with the situation, requesting the loan of one of Amazon Outreach’s vessels for our trip.
10:45 AM – Marco Rego calls me with the news AO can accommodate us with a vessel on Friday – all are traveling at the moment. Marco said he would have his dispatcher call me to see if he could help with the Beatriz in any way.
11:00 AM – I arrive at the Captain of the Port but could not enter because I was in shorts and flip-flops…
NOON – I meet with Marco’s dispatcher and we call the Watch Commander at the Captain of the Port. The Commander says we may travel but will have to “re-categorize” the Beatriz immediately. A process requiring several months and a great deal of investment. No problem. The “you can travel” part was all that mattered to me at that moment…
12:40 PM – Picked up the boys and headed to the airport. On the way, we stopped and bought a battery charger, a couple of hoses and some clamps (all these, last minute generator blow-outs)
1:00 PM – While still picking up the hoses, Pedro calls saying the gear box is being put back together, but will take some time.
1:25 PM – Headed to the airport from downtown.
1:45 PM – Arrived at the airport to find the team waiting for us outside as the bus was pulling around to load them.
2:15 PM – Arrived at the hotel port and the group went to check out the zoo.
2:35 PM – The Beatriz arrives, is loaded and load balanced.
3:15 PM – Group is back from the zoo, settling in and enjoying pizza for a snack.
3:40 PM – All systems are “go” and we depart on schedule.
3:45 PM – Got word our bibles have arrived but were confiscated by Customs. Then immediately got another call saying the bibles have been released and will be delivered this evening.
4:20 PM – I go and sit in my cabin for awhile to simply breath…
- It been a day, indeed…
2:00 AM – We just eased away from shore. The storm has settled down enough to continue. I’m worn out and ready to settle in my hammock for what remains of the night.
It’s good to be back on the River. Out here, the variables are gentler, more defined than in town. The “human” one (primary to most problematic interludes) is limited to those of great trust and loyalty, my crew and teams. If I could somehow manage to just stay out here, it’d sure be grand. Realistically though, it takes a bit of “all the above” to truly appreciate the freedom I experience underway in the Valley…
“ETA in Maues is set for around Noon, today. Rendezvous with Pastor Moises, shortly thereafter”.
1:00 PM – We’ve been in port here in Maues for about 30 minutes. Moises is nowhere in sight. We will catch up with him somewhere along the way.
- The team decided they wanted to get off the boat and walk around for and hour or so. Upon departure, we should be at anchor, off-shore of Esperanca in the Satere Nation within 5 hours.
- I called Tereza and have confirmed a visit with her on our way out next Wednesday. I look forward to seeing her and discussing the upcoming Middleburg team’s trip. She didn’t feel like coming down here now. Next Wednesday will do just fine.
- It’s been a good day of sailing. All are well and rested. It’s been good to visit around this morning, getting to know some of the “newcomers”. It’s good to be this close to the Satere’s once again.
From the Helm – Monday, July 13, 2009
4:00 AM – Well, it’s about time to set sail. Anderson just took Filipino to the fruit and veggie market to pick up the perishables. Our staff should be onboard in a couple hours. I’ve got a morning’s worth of stuff to take care of then, off to the airport.
All we know to do in preparation is now done. Time to settle and experience the days as God unfolds them. Lord, now comes the rest I cherish. The rest that comes when all things along the known path of duty have been tended to. This begins the time when any task to be performed can’t be found on anyone’s “to do” list. It now is a “to-do” list materializing as You choose to reveal. I’ve grown to love Your lists, Lord…
I have no idea what lies ahead. This is exactly the place I like to be. No undue expectations; No concerns; No demands whatever. A beautiful place for me to be, indeed…
From the Helm – Sunday, July 12, 2009
6:00 AM – A peaceful night of rest last night. Other than grumbling a bit at the Boys for “just being boys”, I rested well.
I’ve been considering the matter of “humility” vs. “humanity” this morning. I’ve always been master of the infrequently require kind of humility – the kind made possible through the distance I necessarily maintain from most I know in this world. Only those unfortunate enough to live within my reach actually see the true presence and effect of my pride and arrogance from time-to-time.
No matter how much I try and will to project what I feel in my heart, my humanity is ever present. My humanity tends to distort the knowledge within my soul. I’ll find myself perfectly content with things then, suddenly, I will say something or do something totally out of context with contentment of any kind. My Boys lovingly refer to me in these moments as being an “ass face”. Their Mother frequently refers to me with this same term of endearment, only in Portuguese – somehow it sounds a whole lot worse when spoken with a “latin touch”, from across the ocean…
I spend a good bit of time surrendering my humanity (self) to the Lord each day. However, it’s still alive and well. It’s become clear that all I can do is continue to surrender. God created me both of flesh and spirit. The two are perpetually at odds within me. I’m convinced and comforted that it’s possible only to seek perfection – never to attain it in this life.
I Know that as long as I strive to be the perfect person I try to project, I’ll continue to fail miserably. My human nature dooms me to dependence upon the Creator of that nature. This “doom” is actually the paradox of a day well lived. It is indeed the nature of true humility…
Of myself I am, and will ever be, capable of great amounts of nothingness - futility. Anything produced of my own efforts yields little of eternal value. The days I feel I’ve accomplished anything other than communion with and obedience to my God, are those resulting in little more than a self-pat-on-the-back. It’s on these days I usually live up to the terms of endearment bestowed upon me by my Boys and their Mom. If I’m fortunate they just walk away, refraining from comment…
I’m just grateful the only day God’s given me to live is the very one that I’m experiencing right now. I’m grateful he requires only that I walk through this day, as He unfolds it. I’m grateful He requires me to do nothing at all for the “rest of my life” –All He’s given me as a task is to live out these hours as He desires – and that, under His care, direction and providence. Comforting thought for this old, occasional “ass-face”, indeed…
3:30 PM – Just got back from the Beatriz. All paint touch-ups are complete and she is absolutely beautiful – ready for tomorrow’s departure.
A little sideline… While out with the Beatriz, the Boys and I cruised over to look at an unbelievable vessel – just like the one I’ve thought, dreamed and prayed about. She belongs to the government and has been deactivated for five years. Luiza’s sister, a lawyer, is beginning a petition of donation to the Director of the State Health Department of Amazonas here in Manaus. We’ll just have to wait, pray and see…
The vessel is 9.25 meters wide and 37 meters long (30’ X 120’). There is enough room between the two decks to accommodate 12, large suites, full crew’s quarters, huge kitchen and full, onboard, medical and dental facilities and additional hammock space for 24. It has twin, MWM 72 hp, 50 kilowatt generators and a 12 cylinder, 766 CAT, main engine. The mechanical part is near-new. We could probably trade the main engine, even up, for twin 300’s – far less diesel…
She would take a good bit to make new again, but about 2/3rd‘s less than the 900K to build her from scratch. I’d attach some photos but have been asked not to publicize her current state of disrepair. I will be glad to share them on an individual basis to anyone interested in the whole deal.
Hey Everyone. The following is an automated message from our new mail server. If you wish to receive updates directly to your email address, just follow the instructions bellow. I am grateful for this new addition. It will make it less costly to communicate from the Valley. I will continue to post to our "blog" as well. So, you may continue checking on this site or recieve it at your mail address. Either way, thank you for following along as we travel, learn and serve.
BW
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> Welcome to the new AMOR newsletter mailing list! This list allows me to more easily send email to everyone, and it's much easier to subscribe or unsubscribe.
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From the Helm – Saturday, July 11, 2009
Noon - Chase and Jake just headed to the airport. They should be in Miami by early evening. These are fine young men. My Boys have been good to surround themselves with guys like these. I’m grateful, indeed…
7:00 PM - I’ve had to stop and be still this afternoon. I’ve created some trying times for myself these passed few days. Trying times because I’ve chosen to let my imagination run with a few assumptions and projections regarding people, places and things. I’m truly good at this deed when I stray from God’s peace and comfort, subconsciously assuming I’m cured of all that once embodied me.
I’ve had to do some self-assessing. The root of most trials in my life lies within the confines of my own mind. My mind tells me of its great dreams and wisdom. It gives me direction in all situations, without hesitation. It lays out conversations that will never take place with people who are likely not to appear. It gives me scenarios for battles that will never occur. It defeats me against challenges that are non-existent.
I used to live in this realm of possibility and projection. It’s a sad place, leading only to unrest of the soul. It produces unprovoked anger, resentment and anxiety. Left unchecked, it leads to unrealistic expectations and the ultimate incomprehensible demoralization of character and purpose. An unbridled mind is source enough for the destruction of a simple man like me.
From the mind comes plotting and desire. I need not a demon beneath my bed to entice me along an ill-fated path. All I need is a simple thought or occurrence to set me decidedly in error. Once I’ve caught myself in the beginnings of a rut such as this, its pitifully funny to see what led me to such a place in the first place.
As I review the past few days, I’ve recognized that my mind is tired. I’ve recognized that the maintenance required for peace of mind has been faulty, at best. I’ve been coasting along under the false assumption that I’ll be ok anyway.
Well, I am indeed ok. It’s just taken some time being still before my God. He has once again gently reminded me that those things of this world I insist upon conquering will never take place for the very reason of my insistent. He’s reminded me that those I would desire to influence will only be influenced by His own touch, in His timing, at His discretion.
He’s brought me back to the place of following only as He leads, not before. He’s comforted me with the profound knowledge of His love and care for me. That He will provide any solution needed by His grace and mercy – not via my own infinite wisdom and self-righteous demands. He’s further reminded me to seek solitude when these funks of the mind arise. In solitude, He whispers amidst the quiet…
I’ve needed these hours in Your comfort, my Lord. I’m grateful for Your indulgence of me. I’m grateful the memory of where I’m able to take myself is still fresh and sharp. Unattended by Your peace, wisdom and guidance, my best efforts are limited to great misery and destruction.
I thank You for the life You’ve allowed me to live. I thank You for revealing the path to a relationship with You. I thank You for continually matching any chaos with an equal measure of serenity. I thank You for relieving me of a once burdened soul. Thank You for the simple truth that all I need do is seek You in complete surrender. By my seeking, You will indeed unfold all the rest I am to see and experience…
From the Helm – Friday, July 10, 2009
4:00 PM – The team was at the airport and checked in by one yesterday afternoon. Everyone was ready to head home. By now, all should be pretty much there.
Anderson picked me up at the airport and we went straight down-town to begin knocking out some of our list for next trip’s preparations. By 3 in the afternoon, I was settled in my room. I was more tired than I thought I was. After dinner, I settled with a book. Next thing I knew, it was 6 o’clock this morning.
– It’s been a long but good day. I’ve been hit with a couple of things that have left me ill-at-ease. One of our employees has been caught (several times) taking supplies and shorting inventories. We’ve confronted him on two occasions about it – he’d repent then continue doing it. Yesterday, we terminated him.
Today he informed us he was taking us to “labor court” seeking 7 years worth of benefits. He’s not due any at all. So, we’ll just sit and see what comes of it. In cases such as these, not responding or reacting is my best reaction. Just let God deal with the deal. Any defense offered on my part will just lead to further irritation of the situation. We’ll wait as the emotions settle.
- I just arrived from the street. Meds, lumber and water are on the way to the Beatriz. Ship’s manifest and passenger lists are in for approval at the Captain of the Ports. Fueling was done yesterday morning before the team left for the airport. Most of the purchasing in done. Another half-day should find us ready to sail.
William has been out a good part of the day taking care of some things for us. I’m grateful to have him, Phillip and Matthew with me these days. Helps me on many different levels. Just grateful it’s been possible.
- The Boy’s, Jake and Chase have been catching up on their sleep. I guess they’ll catch a movie this evening. Its fun to watch them from a distance. As they check out the stores and walk around the Mall, they seem oblivious to the fact that they turn the head of about every girl within a hundred yards of them, young and old alike. Cool to see. Cooler still to see them taking it all in stride…
- It’s been a good day indeed. I look forward to a good bit of ‘nothingness’ going on til morning. This weekend will hopefully find our new email system set up and operating. I have high hopes our communications costs will be greatly reduces by the whole deal. I’m once again grateful for all the effort Mickey and Jacob have put in to it all. These guys are great. However, it’s like having two “Einstein’s” working on a simple addition problem - Greatly overqualified for the task…
From the Helm – Monday, July 06, 2009
3:00 PM – Set sail at 3 this morning. The waters were smooth and calm most of the morning. Since just before noon, however, we’ve been either under siege or threat of storms. The rains have been sparing throughout the trip, allowing bright, breezy days for our activities. I guess it’s time to cool this down a bit. The team is broken in small groups, playing dominoes and cards – suffering through the bad weather in the air-conditioning upstairs…
- Last night, the service in Obidos was moving. There were a couple of youth groups that performed some choreography. Testimonies were given and Pedro brought the message.
This is a church that was organized and built by teams from Mountain Home over a 5 year period in the early Nineties. It has grown to be a powerhouse in the city. Brent and Nancy were the only original team members here this time. I observed as they proudly took it all in.
The church has asked that a team return to Obidos and help one of it’s daughters in a neighborhood on the outskirts of town. It’s a challenge the Blomquist’s will certainly take home to Twin Lakes Baptist. We’ll see what comes of it… Mamuru has also asked for help building a new building of brick and Aluizio is already on the docket for a team to his area.
At the onset of these days on the river I, for some reason, felt this might be a “final hello and good-bye” to this region. Now that the trip is coming to an end, it’s become obvious God led us here to see what is yet to be done. I know not where the teams will come from. I do know whoever determines to come will be richly blessed. This field is both fertile for planting and ripe for harvest. God’s Holy Spirit has been at work all these long years. I’m so grateful to have been included among these who have been graced to witness it all.
- We’re now a few hours below Parintins. ETA in Manaus is set for about 36 hours from there. Barring any further excitement or prevailing thoughts, I’m going to take a rest and ponder the wonders of these past days. God will surely show me the things I’ve missed if I settle and wait upon Him.
Lord, this has all been grand and humbling. You continue to embrace me in Your leisure. For this, I am grateful to You. So grateful, indeed…
From the Helm – Sunday, July 05, 2009
Noon – Our group and the community are in the middle of a great time of eating, soccer games and general socializing. The service this morning was both moving and humbling. Many people came forward to express their gratitude for all that was done here.
Neither the church nor the community has a generator to power anything. So, we gave them a small one left behind by Murray’s team earlier this year. It will be use for all church activities making the church the center of attention. I’m grateful to Dwain and his team for having the foresight and generosity to bring a spare last December. It wasn’t a spare after all…
- The well for the children is now complete and pumping clear, cool water. I’m so grateful God made this possible.
- Today, there is a peace within me that’s hard to describe. I woke up in such a state of gratitude; Like butterflies in my stomach. This has been an incredible six days in Mamuru. The experiences have been numerous. The emotional pulls and tugs, many. The fall out of these days will take a while to settle in to the fiber of my soul. I look forward to it…
In a few hours, we’ll set sail for Obidos. Emmanuel Baptist has asked that we come as their guests this evening. This is the “mother” church of this entire area. One that was started and built by teams from Mountain Home, Arkansas many years ago. The fruits of that labor of love and obedience continue to come forth in beautiful ways. It will be good..
- I leave Mamuru with my heart filled with joy and longing. It’s been so good to revisit old friends. It’s been so good to see all the babies I remember from the past now bringing babies of their own for me to gloat over. Lord, You are so very kind to me. I thank You for all of this. I thank You for Your consideration of me – These expressions of You love for me…
- If all goes as it seems to be going, we will depart for Manaus at first light tomorrow, from Obidos. ETA in Manaus should be about 50 hours from sail – a good long ride. Homeward bound…
From the Helm – Saturday, July 04, 2009
– It’s Independence Day back home. I only wish my Nation realized the fragility of its state. Our arrogance and greed have led us to the point of complete surrender. We’ve surrendered to fear, not power; to chaos rather than peace of mind. We’ve quickly turned to the promise of a change that cannot occur with the way things are. Not that change isn’t possible, even essential – it’s the parts of the equation we’ve chosen that are incorrect, at best.
In my heart, I know the route being preached and followed will lead to an even worse tomorrow. The sick life of an individual (or that of a nation) can only be rebuilt from its foundation. Simple remodeling leads only to false confidence and an ultimately greater collapse of the structure.
I see these things as a matter of fact. I blame no leader, past or present. All, with few exceptions, have been self-limited by pride and self-delusion. Our problem as a nation is our refusal to accept the notion of error or defeat on any level. We have defeated ourselves through our selfishness and self-centeredness. Through our false pride, we’ve rendered ourselves unteachable. Via the choices we’ve made, we’ve mapped our destiny. It’s nobody’s fault but our own. We are individually confused and collectively lost.
The good news is this: The future of my Nation is contingent upon the healing of the individuals who make up the Nation. These matters of the heart and soul can only be affected through God’s power, grace and mercy. I can neither change nor influence anyone – that’s a relief in itself.... God, however, can and will if He be sought.
So, I no longer pray for us as a Nation. I pray the individuals of our nation will seek God’s wisdom. If change does not occur on this most primal of levels, as a Nation it cannot happen at all.
Today, I pray God allow whatever it takes to bring the people of our Nation to that miraculous place of surrender to Him. I pray He takes the place of our surrender to the vague promises of the eloquent and charismatic – the powerfully lost and confused who’s wisdom we’ve chosen over His. Regardless of who they may be, I pray we surrender to no man whatever. Folly closely follows in the path of such folly…
9:30 AM - About the time I was waking up this morning, the Boys were coming in from the hunt. Jake harpooned a seven foot caiman. By the looks of the thing, it wasn’t very happy about the whole ordeal. After a photo-op, its release was far less tedious than its capture. I remember well the thrill of such escapades. Nothing like it. These days though, I’m happy to just live vicariously through these younger guys. The little caiman they brought home and deposited in one of the bathrooms caused a few quick awakenings for the early morning bathers, too. Children, children…
- A morning I’d thought would be one used to finish things up here in Mamuru in turning in to another full day in all areas of ministry. I like it when people in need show up unannounced. Actually, I love it. Castanhaduba has just showed up in full force.
- We’ve reconsidered the second well. The equipment has been set up over by the school. Our team is confident that water can be reached. The plan is to drill through the day and night until it’s done. I’m grateful for our crew and their desire to help the children in this way. When children are the primary recipient of a benefit within our grasp, it’s easy to find the energy to continue on at virtually any task…
- I sent to Obidos for some supplies. We’ve invited the whole area to a cookout tomorrow. Luiza is picking up 80lbs of beef, chicken and pork sausage along with a boat load of rice and vinaigrette fixing’s. We look forward to a fellowship of about two hundred-fifty folks. Dad would have done it a bit differently, for sure. He’s been know to buy a whole steer for such occasions. The butchering and dressing of it being part of the experience. Sorry Dad, since that day all our “pet’ chickens showed up on our kitchen table as dinner back in 1969, I’ve preferred that my meat come in neat packages from the grocers. It thus has a lesser effect on my appetite…
- Tainara, Baldo’s nine year old, has stolen the hearts of me and Boys. She is precious. Won’t unglue from Matthew for a single minute. We’d take her home in a second! Maybe it’s best we can’t. She’d be absolutely ruined in a matter of days at our house. We’ll just enjoy spoiling her for the days we’re here. Matthew has already raided our stock of chocolates and goodies on her behalf. So cute to watch it all. Cida would take her in a minute as well. However, I know Cida’d be worse at spoiling her than we guys are able to even contemplate…
3:30 PM – What a day this has been. Medical is just finishing up with those who have sought help. We’re also just about out of medicine. Dental will just work on for another hour, and then close. VBS is handing out some clothing to all the children present this afternoon. The well struck good water with the last rod we had (80 feet). It should be lined and capped by dark. How beautiful it all is.
- A lady of 30 came to clinic today. In 1991 Jim Davison (I’m almost certain), from Dallas, performed some corrective surgery on her cleft lip and palate. I immediately remembered the case. She’s gone on to live a normal life - a wife and mother of 2. The compassion Jim showed toward her 18 years ago led to as normal a life as any in this village. I’m grateful to God for those He touches to come and serve in all areas of ministry here in the Valley. It matters little to me who they come with or where they go. I’m simply grateful they come at all…
- I’m looking forward to a quiet night aboard the Beatriz. I look forward to the “mass meal” tomorrow as well. It’s all been good thus far. I’ve no reason to believe it will continue in any other manner…
From the Helm – Friday, July 03, 2009
10:30 AM - Well, this day, we will continue on here in Mamuru. Many people continue to arrive from far away villages. Much need. As the day progresses we will know more of when to go or stay. Looking from the point of logic though, if we remain through tomorrow, we will just continue on until Sunday night. Our next community would be Flexal. To make her would take half a day’s travel and set up in order to minister. Not exactly a move in good stewardship. But again, logic plays lightly in our determinations these days…
- The service last night touched the hearts of many – mine included. An elderly gentleman came forward professing Christ’s presence in his life for the very first time. It is a beautiful thing to witness. A couple of our team gave their testimonies and the singing was heart warming.
- I was able to spend some time with Espedito this morning. He gave us some bibles to distribute and we topped off his tank and help of what we had toward a missionary journey he’s planned for the weekend. He’s a beautiful man of God. It’s been a privilege for me to be in his presence.
- William, Matthew and Phillip took off with Baldo last night on a gator hunt. This morning, the bow of the AMOR/TT displayed a 5 foot caiman and a smaller “rock” gator – both alive and later released. I guess they had fun. Just to look at the boys this morning gives me a clue as to how late they stayed out. It’s neat that my boys are getting to know Baldo. He’s a rugged bull of a man with one of the gentlest spirits I’ve come to know. It’s all been good for this old man to watch…
- The well is still filtering. We’ve made the good water, for sure. Lots of sand and sediment remains to settle out. It’ll just take some time. The second well over by the school won’t be possible this time around. Our capacity for depth is only about 90 feet. Due to the topography across the hill, it would require at least a 150 foot dig. Maybe next time…
- All teams are working steadily. Construction is taking the day off to experience the other ministries about around the village. All are well. A couple of our young people are on the mend from a little “bug” floating around. Just part of the deal some times…
4:45 PM – It’s been an interesting afternoon. Our docs have been on the move in house calls. A lady from across the lake was sent home to die of complications related to her diabetes. The doctors in Santarem claimed inability to do anything for her. Our docs went and examined her just to find she suffers from nothing life threatening. Simple adjustments in her meds should bring about remarkable improvements. I’m grateful we were able to encourage in some way.
- Our construction team has been out visiting the houses around the lake. It’s been a good thing for them and for those they visited. They’ve enjoyed experiencing some of the local culture.
- Medical finished up earlier than usual this afternoon. More people are scheduled to arrive tomorrow morning. Just have to wait and see.
- I’ve planned a surprise 4th of July fireworks show for tomorrow evening. The crew is already actively seeking the most expendable among them to be volunteered as the fuse lighter. I’ve noticed an increased level of “busy work” going on around the Beatriz in efforts to prove each one’s “indispensable” qualities…
- It’s been a good day. I’m feeling a bit tired this afternoon. I’m enjoying all that’s taking place. It’ll just feel good to lay it all to rest after awhile. Thank you, Lord, for the beautiful unfolding of this day. Thank You for the thoughts, conversations and events You’ve graced me with experiencing. It’s been a good one, indeed…
From the Helm – Thursday, July 02, 2009
My wake-up knock didn’t come til 4:30 this morning. I was sleeping so fitfully it didn’t really matter. The Boy’s didn’t get in until late last night. The thrill of the hunt must have overtaken them…
The house was full for the service last night – well over a hundred, plus our team. After much good music and a couple of testimonies, Aluizio brought the message. The Word is taught so purely out here. I miss the simplicity of it all when I’m back home. Somehow, many of our teachers feel a need to entertain – keep their jobs. The push for political correctness virtually washing away any depth their message might have. Just as sad is that the audiences seek a fix of circumstances rather that a correction in path. Unfortunately, the fixes rarely yield more than future agony and despair, requiring yet another fixing of circumstances. I don’t say this critically. Just in recognition of fact.
Lord, I was once that way. All I ever desired was that everything and everyone around me change to fit my perceived needs. By Your Grace and Mercy, I came to know that the only change needed was the change in me. I used up every lifeline extended me until there was none left but You. You, my Lord, are my sufficiency. You are my Life, Hope and Comfort. I’m grateful, Lord, You sent someone my way to share the simple truth as I hear it, repeatedly, here in the Valley. It’s what You’ve given me. It’s all I desire to share with those You place in my path. Thank You for being compassionate and considerate of me. Thank You for being tolerant of my wonderings and wanderings. Thank You, Lord, indeed…
10:00 AM - It’s been a good morning. The well is pumping rather sandy but, cool water. People have come from far away for medical and dental. God has answered - we are to stay yet another day in this place.
Aluizio left some time in the night, headed for home. This morning another dear friend, Espedito, came up from Obidos to visit. This is a fine layman who spends more of his time helping these interior pastors than he does seeing to his own businesses. But you know, he’ll be the first to tell that he’s never missed a meal or a payroll while tending to what God’s called him to do. His is a kindred spirit to mine…
3:45 PM – The babies and children of this place are beautiful. Of course, I’m a terrible one to judge – every child I see is beautiful to me. There’s a little down syndrome girl that’s taken up with me. She’s a doll. No malice – just a sweet child destine to remain as such forever. It’s obvious the community takes good care of her. A special little creation to help teach us unconditional love. A true blessing....
- We’ve about decided to drill a second well over by the school. The teachers pleaded with me after we’d already begun the one here. Of course, my heart took a little dip. So, here we go. We should know the possibilities by day’s end.
Medical and dental have another day of work, at least. So, we will continue on in Mamuru until the people stop coming. No rush to leave because God’s not shown that we should. I think we’ll just stay put til He does…
From the Helm – Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Happy 54th Anniversary Mom and Dad!! May your day be peaceful and restful…
The day ended well yesterday. Kevin had a rough night of it but seems to be on the mend. He’s the only one this year that has had to sit out a day. His parents think he drank a bit too much of the lake water. Just the way it goes sometimes.
Last nights’ service was a neat deal. I got the chance to say “hello” for Johnson, Jackie, Jeff and all the rest from Dallas. Just more of the continuing reunion I’ve been blessed to have. Baldo was there along with Pastors Antonio and Dorenilson.
- Dorenilson was a young man of 24 when one of our teams arrived in 1994. He was the Catechist of the catholic church in Castanhaduba. He graciously allowed us to use his facilities for VBS. By week’s end, He had accepted Christ as his Savior along with 40 others of the community and was elected, by the 40 new Christians, to lead and teach them in their new found Faith. This is a turn of events no man could have ever planned or orchestrated – it was an act of the Holy Spirit opening the minds and hearts of a hardened people as only He is able. Just the thing I’ve been graced to witness time and again, throughout this great Valley.
In his own words, Dorenilson is the fruit of obedience. The obedience of those who came from so far away to share the simple, life saving Truth. Today, he has borne much fruit through his own obedience in doing the same thing. The leader of the church here in Mamuru, Antonio, is one of these. And so go the perfect Workings of my Great God. We need but follow as He leads. Obey when clearly instructed. The rest is the resulting pure joy alive in my soul today…
11:00 AM – The well is down to 72 feet. Our goal (the second water shelf) should be within 10 to 15 feet. It’s exhilarating to be so close!
- I’ve been “on call” all morning. Here and there, answering medical questions in my unprofessional and rather clueless manner. At least it must have sounded good – all patients have survived thus far…
Gonna do a nose job during lunch. For some reason, this poor fellow thinks he might like to have a scare rather than a large growth on the tip of his nose. Little does he know of what he’s asked me to do. Time to wipe off last year’s scalpel for another go-round. Carving the turkey with it last November may have dulled it a bit, too. Nothing like have all the right tools together when an opportunity like this arises...
4:00 PM – We struck water about an hour ago! Sweet, indeed!!
- Aluizio showed up on location to pay us a visit. So good to see him! He’s back working with the churches in Curua and below. I was so relieved to see him back in the field. Knowing his heart, I never felt quite at peace with his absence from this area. I’m grateful God brought him home to do what he’s always felt God’s called him to do – share the message as he so beautifully does… We’ve made a commitment to join in encouraging his area next year, if the Lord so leads.
- We’re at a bit of a lull in the flow of people coming in for clinic and dental. Pedro, Dorenilson and I have committed to seek what God tells us about staying on another day. We have several viable options in communities with great need. By the end of the night, our next step should be clear. Thank You, Lord, for the assurance of Your presence. Thank You for making our path clear. Thank You for including me in it at all…
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